Although I’ve been on my awakening journey for quite some time and have had many insights that have changed my way of thinking, this is probably a topic about which I still have much to learn. One reason for this is that I believe both feminine and masculine energies are so wounded on this planet, where there is still so much heaviness, density, and trauma, that it’s very difficult to understand what healthy femininity means.
I wonder if there’s even a healthy model from which we, as girls, could have learned what it means to be a woman?
What we learned within our families often was “be silent and endure,” and the model of women we saw not only often struggled physically but also did more than men, holding up three corners of the house or, if we turned to the models presented to us through media content, movies, TV shows, and even cartoons, it was full of ideas about a princess who just waits for her prince to rescue her, complete her, and make her happy for the rest of her life. Another quite influential source of the concept of women was through publicly exposed women: models, actresses, singers…, and it was a highly sexualized model of exaggerated femininity that emphasized female physical attributes to the point where breasts and lips were pumped, and bodies were all put into one “ideal” mold. Due to such influences and the overall confusion about how we should live, behave, and look to be considered women, nothing healthy could have emerged for our psyche and our sense of self.
All these influences were something “external” that imposed, opposed, and contradicted what comes from within. But what is that? Are we sufficiently connected with ourselves for that something to emerge from us, manifest itself in this physical reality? Do we feel safe and supported in that? With all those “you shouldn’t, you should do it this way, don’t do it that way,” it’s very difficult to even reach that authentic expression. And I can’t speak for others. I can speak for myself. Not even for other women, even though we have the same physical features, I can’t give that exact answer, because entering our body, showing our natural expression, allowing the fire of consciousness to blaze through the body, is different for every woman. Sometimes the soul inhabiting the body actually has more energy belonging to the other gender, and considering all external influences, it can be quite confusing for the personality living through that body.
But let’s set aside such rare cases and try to define what would be common to most women living in a female body with predominantly female energy and how to revive our own feminine energy.
What is typical for feminine energy?
Feminine energy is not intrusive, it doesn’t need to push anything, and its charm lies in the ease with which it simply exists. When it just exists, there’s no need to engage in anything else, especially not to compare, because it’s like a flower that is beautiful and intoxicating in itself.
Feminine energy is cyclical, tied to the body’s cycles, life stages, times of day, lunar and solar changes, seasons, and it’s always changing. This change creates a rhythm within her, the rhythm turns into movement, and that movement is a dance that her body follows, dancing through life. When a woman’s cyclic connection is interrupted, she loses touch with her energy. This happens because when her cyclic rhythms are disrupted, she loses contact with that part of herself, the body’s wisdom that tells her when is the right time for what in her life: for action or withdrawal, for connection with intuition, decision-making, and for deciding which direction she wants to go, dancing through her life. Any such artificial disconnection from her true cycle creates discord in her own internal sense of self, whether through taking contraceptive pills or just the fact that the body mostly craves rest and separation at the beginning of menstrual bleeding, but is forced into work and socialization. What happens is that when a woman doesn’t listen to her body, its messages, and its rhythms, she also severs ties with that source of her true wisdom. Over time, this leads to the fact that a woman no longer hears herself, nor knows how to listen. That’s why a woman who is connected with her rhythms is very intuitive, and in that, false external gaslighting cannot deceive her because she is rooted and grounded in her own wisdom.
Due to its cyclical nature, feminine energy thrives equally well in its darkness as in its light. Dwelling in darkness is very fruitful for a woman and allows her to connect with her true nature. Darkness can be understood as mud, fertilizer in which she can rest and nourish herself before penetrating into the nature of light. Women have somehow come to fear this darkness within them, but we live in a world of duality, and not recognizing or rejecting all our parts leads to greater disconnection within ourselves. How can we be feminine if we are disconnected from our true nature? We are our wholeness only when we are the entirety of what we are here, what we live in this body, in this dimension, and level of existence.
Women are often cut off from their natural rhythms, but if they listen to them and accept them and live in an environment where their femininity is safe and doesn’t need to be hidden, She unfolds like the proverbial flower and blazes, burns, and creates. The power of feminine energy is to create. And it doesn’t have to be just giving life to a new human being but also to all other creations that stem from her. When a woman is aligned in her cyclical nature and “dances through it,” she is flow. This fluidity makes her existence effortless and doesn’t make her need to attach to anything or anyone. When her flow stops, she has no choice but to attach, and what then blocks her from within makes her energy stale, stops the fire within her, and ultimately blocks life within her. The real question is: can lifeless energy breathe life?
This description of feminine energy may sound poetic, but if you think about it and try to feel it through energy, you will feel and understand the point.
How to live your own feminine energy?
The answer lies in this: to live our own feminine energy, we should learn to connect with it. For many women, true connection will be preceded by serious self-therapy, but also vibrational, as we carry many vibrations from past lives that have disturbed and “injured” our feminine energy. The answer in energy always comes from within, so you won’t receive advice from me to put on makeup, wear a dress, and style your hair because if it’s not natural for your inner expression that comes from within, that discrepancy between external and internal will be felt in energy because a woman who is connected with herself can radiate just as much when she is messy and in pants as when she is dressed up and in a dress.
So, for what’s external to be filled with femininity, activating femininity starts from the internal, from your own internal feeling and feminine energy.
Questions we can ask ourselves are: what activates me from within, what makes me feel connected with myself, what makes me feel connected with that part of me that wants to express itself through sensuality, creativity, what makes me want to dance and jump from within, what ignites my inner fire?
The organ representing the source of that power within us is the uterus. Therefore, we can energetically learn to connect with our uterus.
Creation and the power of transforming ideas into matter are also the power of the planet as consciousness, so it’s essential for a woman to become aware of her connection with it. The Earth carries a very dense material energy but also unifies all elements within itself and creates with the help of elements (wood, fire, earth, metal, and water – depending on the system we use). In the same way, a woman does. Feminine energy creates by playing with the elements. It filters through more male intelligence and then connects the elements into new creations that then live their own lives.
You can try a simple meditative exercise to connect with the energy of the uterus and the energy of the Earth:
Perhaps it would be best to do the exercise when you are alone, so you can easily surrender to your breath and sensations that come out of the body, and so you don’t block the flow.
I suggest standing when doing this exercise.
Be aware of your feet and their connection to the ground. Ground yourself, send your energetic roots into the ground, and connect with the energy of the Earth. As you inhale, be aware that the breath rises from below, from your feet, upwards to the heart center. The pause between inhale and exhale is a short break, and then exhale as if releasing something from the body (tensions, blockages). Keep that rhythm of breathing the whole time; the exhale can be audible; release your voice as it leads you. For starters, you can place your palms on the lower part of the abdomen, below the navel. This way, your palms cover both the ovaries and the uterus. Be aware of that contact and let nurturing energy, full of acceptance and forgiveness towards yourself and your female organs, flow through your palms. If you’re into visualizations, you can also imagine the light spreading within your uterus, healing you from the inside. Work with the energy as it leads you; it’s important to know that energy follows your intention. Move your hips and pelvis. At first, let the movement be slow, and later you can speed up more and more, following the impulse for movement that comes not from your mind but from the impulse coming from within, from your pelvis. Your inner impulse will create a rhythm that turns into a dance. Of course, you can include spinning, lifting, spreading your arms into the movement; this dance is your own creation and your own connection with yourself. When you feel you’ve finished, you can calm down, lie down on the ground, let your breath be completely natural, without any forcing. Feel the change in your own energy and your new state of awakened feminine energy!